The world is surely ending soon.
TMI, I’m sure. But maybe I’ll look slightly less horribly disfigured if it works.
One downside is I’m inhaling iodine fumes. My mouth tastes sterile.
And so far I’ve done nothing but unpackage them, and smack the back of my head and legs with them.
What is wrong with me…
I watched the Jersey Shore episode of It’s Always Sunny… and I instantly thought of Shelly. Is that bad?
- Woody Harrelson: I was on my bus, and on my bus I have a yoga swing. Jennifer comes on, and she goes, 'Hi, Woody, I'm J—is that a sex swing?' Her first sentence to me.
- Josh Hutcherson: When I got cast, she called me up for one of those five-minute 'Excited to work with you, blah, blah, blah' things. The conversation started with her saying, 'Think about a catheter going in – ouch!' and then turns into a 45-minute rant about zombies and the apocalypse.
- Zoë Kravitz: I'd met her a few times, and she was like, 'You should come over and we'll hang out.' So I go over to her apartment, and she opens the door in a towel. She's like, 'Come in, sorry, you're early, I was about to shower.' And she drops her towel and gets in the shower, and starts shaving her legs, totally naked. She was like, 'Are we here yet? Is this OK?' And I was like, 'I guess we're there!'
Yep. Pretty sure it’s everything cancer.
One positive side effect - my burps taste like bacon, and I haven’t eaten bacon in a considerable amount of time. Score!